Useless...but I Make A Point

[King_Nothing]

Does anyone else hate it when you come home to see that you have msgs on your answering machine, and all it is is a fucking hangup? If people are going to take the time to listen to your greeting, then why the fuck dont they leave a damn message??!
Ive had the same thing for the past week on my machine when I get in from work, always a hang up from a number I cannot trace, Im sure its a Tele-marketer or something...but come on...LEAVE A GODDAMN MESSAGE!!

Rant over!

[Mr.Metal]

Holy crap, it happens to me all the time!! 5 messages and you only hear them hung up and far far away their voces saying "I think he isn't home"...!?!?!

[dmegametal#1]

**uhh..uhh,huh..nobody's home i think??....click...

even at work from long distance callers!!! i FUCKING HATE THEM AS WELL!!!!

[Churchchair]

Yup... I hate it too... but:

I have a solution:
Since a few months my new voice-mail has a message spoken by my oldest daughter.
"Hello. My daddy can't answer the phone, he's at work"

The reactions are funny, everyone is talking to my voice-mail:
- Hello? Hello? Are you still there?
- When does he comes home?
- Where your mommy?
- Hey could you say to your daddy....

[wolfway]

what you could do is speak this in your answering machine

hello, *name* speaking, who is this?

*give time for caller to say who he is*

i'm sorry but i can't answer you right now, this is my answering machine...

or something like that

just give the caller the feeling you're talking to him.
i knew somebody who did that and believe me it worked

[King_Nothing]

what you could do is speak this in your answering machine

hello, *name* speaking, who is this?

*give time for caller to say who he is*

i'm sorry but i can't answer you right now, this is my answering machine...

or something like that

just give the caller the feeling you're talking to him.
i knew somebody who did that and believe me it worked

That is a FANTASTIC idea!
I will try that out and see how it goes

[Poolzer]

I did that when I was in collage years ago, was a bit more elaborate:

*with music blaring in the background*
'hello?' pause for reply
'hello, can you speak up?' pause
'hang on, let me turn the music down' turned music down
'ok, hello?' pause
'Well damn, I know why I can hear you, Im not here, leave a message'

Would at least get a name throughout all that, as well as some yelling and frustration

[Fadingtoblack]

I did that when I was in collage years ago, was a bit more elaborate:

*with music blaring in the background*
'hello?' pause for reply
'hello, can you speak up?' pause
'hang on, let me turn the music down' turned music down
'ok, hello?' pause
'Well damn, I know why I can hear you, Im not here, leave a message'

Would at least get a name throughout all that, as well as some yelling and frustration

Ha nice one


Normally I can't be bothered, so I just say I'm not interested and hang up.

However, if I'm bored, there is one thing that's fun to do.

I let them do their whole spiel, in this case it was about saving me in phonebills, 40% i think.
Anyway I let them explain everything, including all side option, everything, waste a good 20 minutes on it, just keep asking questions.

Now it comes to business time, and they ask me what phone company I'm with. That's when I start to get stuck into them.

"How can you offer me a 40% discount if you don't even know what my phone company is?"

Asking questions like that, and generally taking the guy apart - THEN I tell them I'm not interested and hang up.


It's nice to waste THEIR time for a change - See them make their quota of sales that day (or night, hard to tell when they call me from India )

[wolfway]

there was this english guy on tv a while ago and he did the most hilarious thing

he was going to say "yes" to everything he came across/people asked him, and he wrote a book about it (of course nobody knew about it when he did it)

so at internet ad's he said yes, so he said at the end of the period he had bought penis-enlargements, viagra stuff and all that stuff through the internet

and once he had a person on the phone that sold double glass for in windows, and on everything he asked the person "are you interested" and so on he answered yes.

then when they came to the businesspart the person told the seller "well accualy i allready have double glass so i can't buy anything, but we can meet up once to have a nice chat" and then the seller asked "are you wasting my time?" so the dude said "yes"

that's just soooo hilarious

[Doin]

Here in Australia we are being plagued by telemarketers from India and other parts of Asia. I really hate answering the phone, disturbed from whatever it is I am doing, to hear an Indian or Filipino accent asking if I am home. I just politely tell them that I don't have time and hang up on them.
My brother likes to ask them "So what's the weather like in Dehli today?" because they will never tell you where they are calling from.
Hopefully the 'Do Not Contact' legislation will pass soon and we will be able to add our numbers to the 'Do Not Contact' list and never be bothered by these people again. I guess they must do some business as companies would not invest so much in these overseas call centres.

The only calls I do take are from Canteen - raising money for kids with cancer.

Anyway, here is 10 ways to terrorise a telemarketer....

10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."

9. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

8. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends.... would you be my friend?"

6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

5. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips

4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" Say good by - and Hang up.

2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your mom?"

And first and foremost:

1. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.