International Cricket

[Doin]

MEDIA RELEASE - From the International Cricket Council for immediate release (especially in India).


The ICC has announced several changes to the playing conditions for the forthcoming 3rd test in Perth between Australia and India. These changes include:
* India must win.


* The umpires shall be nominated by the Indian team. It will be acceptable if reserve Indian players rotate as umpires.


* During the game all appeals shall be referred to the Indian management team and the Indian media contingent prior to any decision being made. (This includes where an Indian player may appear, to the naked eye, to have been bowled.)


* When the Indian team is batting the boundary rope shall be moved inwards 20 metres.


* Australian bowlers shall bowl under arm.


* India must win.


* Any time Ricky Ponting is on the field he shall be restrained in a full length strait jacket and muzzled.


* Any Australian spin bowler must advise the batsman in advance what type of delivery is going to be bowled.


* At any time Andrew Symons is on the field he must wear a gorilla suit and accept any sledging in the light hearted manner that

this is intended.


* India must win.


* Harbhajan Singh will be cleared on appeal and be nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize.


* Indian batsman may be permitted to use larger bats.


* Australian batsmen may use a bat every fifth over.


* Australian fieldsman should praise every batting attempt by the Indians by saying "Good shot chaps." Apart from this Australian players are not permitted to speak.


* During the lunch and tea break both teams shall get together and have a cup of tea.


* India must win. The ICC and the BCCI hope that all Australians will understand these minor changes are intended in the best interest of the game.


The ICC would also like to announce that Steve Bucknor has been appointed as the ICC's new cricketing ambassador to Kazikstan. The ICC wishes Steve all the best in this important, newly created role.


RIP International Cricket

[minus clover]

well, going by the way australia is playing this current test, all of the above is true and happening right now!!

[Fadingtoblack]

Yep it's all true.


We know now that India runs the game, the ICC is just a figurehead. All that aside though, we played bloody awful yesterday and it will take a miracle to win this one, and slightly less to make a draw...

[Leighton]

Decent start today, but they've stuttered again toward lunch.

It's not just the ICC that run the game, it's channel 9 as well. They are pushing incredibly hard for the power to make decisions. As evidenced by the Clarke (?) LBW yesterday, Hawkeye can show a ball will hit the stumps, but no-ones mentioning whether the hit would dislodge the bails.

Tony Grieg is behind most of this. He is the most racist person at any cricket ground at any one time. The anti-Australian twat is an embarrassment. Anyone remember his North Sydney oval comments of the Asian wedding just outside the ground? Something along the lines of "do you think she was flown in?". He's the one whipping this up with every touring side, Sri Lanka especially.

[minus clover]

Decent start today, but they've stuttered again toward lunch.

It's not just the ICC that run the game, it's channel 9 as well. They are pushing incredibly hard for the power to make decisions. As evidenced by the Clarke (?) LBW yesterday, Hawkeye can show a ball will hit the stumps, but no-ones mentioning whether the hit would dislodge the bails.

Tony Grieg is behind most of this. He is the most racist person at any cricket ground at any one time. The anti-Australian twat is an embarrassment. Anyone remember his North Sydney oval comments of the Asian wedding just outside the ground? Something along the lines of "do you think she was flown in?". He's the one whipping this up with every touring side, Sri Lanka especially.

well he is south african after all...

[Leighton]

and a Pom.

[minus clover]

double whammy then

[Leighton]

Cricket is officially dead to me from today. Fuck India! One-dayers suck since the World Cup debacle, 20/20 is only good if you're a batsman and the sub continent rules the test world with an iron fist. The rot started with Indian betting, intensified with the chucker from Sri Lanka and officially hit rock bottom with the Harbijan finding.

Let soccer out-draw it.

[superman321]

Very very true, his being cleared is absolute crap. Even without a recording of him saying it, it is pretty clear he did. Plus it has turned out Tendulkar wasn't even within earshot when Harbijan called Symonds a monkey. This is turning out to be just as bad as the days when Australia and England had veto powers over international cricket. Truly, Australia and England should put a lot of money into getting America or China into international cricket to act as a counter balance to Indian money (this is of course sily, flawed wishful thinking on my part). Well, let's just hope we thrash the bastards (and no there is no way in which that is racist term) tonight in the Twenty/20.

[minus clover]

Well, let's just hope we thrash the bastards (and no there is no way in which that is racist term) tonight in the Twenty/20.

so far so good... 7/62...