The Official Joke Thread

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Bob Garage
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Re: The Official Joke Thread

Post by Bob Garage »

This morning on the way to work, I rear-ended a car at a traffic light when I wasn't really paying attention.

When the driver got out... I noticed that he was a dwarf!

He steamed up to my car and said, 'I'm not happy...', So I said, 'Well, which one are you then?'
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Theres a vortex in the fridge,
The food flies about
Throttled by sausages
I cannot get out!
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Snow
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Re: The Official Joke Thread

Post by Snow »

Ok, lets get this out first.
I got these in the last few days and I already know that they are kinda sick and that they do not represent my attitude towards any ethnic group nor any religions......

Baggage handlers at Glasgow airport were said to be furious when the Indian they ordered turned up burnt!


One of the Glasgow airport bombers has just been named - Sinjed Inajeep!


So much for the new smoking ban. Two Pakistanis have already been caught smoking at Glasgow Airport!
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Snow
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Re: The Official Joke Thread

Post by Snow »

1 can of petrol - £5.40
2 Calor gas bottles - £43.50
second hand Jeep Cherokee - £2500

Watching two pakistani's burn alive - Priceless
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Snow
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Re: The Official Joke Thread

Post by Snow »

John Lennon Airport in Liverpool was shut yesterday for eighteen hours due to "Suspicious Car"

Apparently it had Tax, MOT and was insured and the radio was still in it!
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Snow
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Re: The Official Joke Thread

Post by Snow »

A muslim has just crashed his car into the Ulley Reservoir in Sheffield

Police think it is the start of Ram - A - Dam!!!
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Snow
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Re: The Official Joke Thread

Post by Snow »

An Irishman is shagging a Jewish girl and says to her
"F**king hell you're not very tight for a Jew"
She replies "Well your not very thick for a paddy!"
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Snow
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Re: The Official Joke Thread

Post by Snow »

Whats the difference between PITY and SHAME?

A bus-load of Taliban's crashin with no survivors is a PITY....
The three empty seats, now thats a SHAME
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Re: The Official Joke Thread

Post by Snow »

I've just bought a racehorse called "My Face"
I'm going to enter it on Ladies Day at Royal Ascot....

Just imagine all those women shouting and screaming " Come on my face!!"
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Snow
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Re: The Official Joke Thread

Post by Snow »

Harry Potter stories are so far fetched
I mean I can buy the fact that magic exists, maybe even unicorns and giants

but have you ever seen a ginger kid with TWO mates??
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Snow
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Re: The Official Joke Thread

Post by Snow »

Paddy pulls alongside a lorry and shouts
"Oi driver yer losing yer load"
Driver just looks and says "F**k off!"

Five miles further along.
"Oi driver yer losing yer load"
Driver says "Will you f**k off!"

another five miles go by and again Paddy yells.
"Oi driver I'm not joking, honest yer losing yer load"

Driver says

"Will you go away you thick Irish twat, I'm gritting the roads!"
We spit on those who choose to pose... we'll thrash with all the rest
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